I feel misunderstood. Most of the time. I am so tired, of being tired. I want to get farther, and when I feel like they want me even farther, I push farther. Then I am told to not over-do, and I don't know what to do. I am very frustrated that I am unable to walk or move the way I want to. My back hurts, my leg hurts, my hands hurt, and so much more. But I don't want to be the negative one, I want to put on a happy face and say happy things. Be happy, right? Because after all, people just want to be around the happy people. The positive people are the people you should put in your life and surround yourself with. I am a positive person, but I am also a person who is not having the best of moments in my life, and so I don't feel like putting on the positive face right now. I am just not sure if I am being understood lately. The way I talk or feel.
Well, shouldn't we try to help those that are struggling. And maybe we don't help them by being all cheery, but just by listening. Jesus was surrounded by those who struggled, because they were looking for HOPE. He didn't tell them yeah go home be happy. He didn't push them away and say I can only talk to those who are happy. He talked to them, and listened to them and he talked with them. He made them feel human and normal. He helped them grow. Jesus is Hope. And Hope sometimes is all that we have.
I guess I am just feeling misunderstood...
You have EVERY right to have negative moments my dear friend! Those of us who know you, know that you are a positive person, and we also KNOW that you are going through some of the hardest times of your life. I see a friend who is going through the worst couple surgeries of the 10 she has had, and in my mind, she has every right to feel frustrated, mad, sad, negative, worried, scared, etc. YOU have every right to have any and all of the feelings you want. YOU also know that God is with you through this time, and through those feelings. The only one you need to worry about what they are thinking about you is God, and he loves you no matter what you are feeling and is crying with you Marisa. He does not want to see you in the pain you are in as much as you do not want to be in it. You and I both know there is a reason you are going through this, and unfortunately you may never know the exact reason. Even if my theory we talked about isn't the case, it is definitely impacting many other lives, and you have such strong faith through it all, that it may be a small portion of the reason. I love you Marisa, and you know that I am always here for you even if it's to listen to your heart cry from the pain you are going through. <3
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